Archive for work

minutia

Posted in cusak, real life with tags , on Thu, 30 Oct, 2008 :: 303/44 :: 13:19:14 +0000 by anaïs' little sister

Sometimes I’m dreadfully uninteresting. I occasionally write in here from the fishbowl (my affectionate name for the reception area at my job, behind which I sit eight hours a day, like the proverbial fish on display) during my lunch break, or a late afternoon lull. Today I’m doing so while eating an instant rice noodle bowl, and drinking a vitamin water. I told you, uninteresting.

I wish, sometimes, that my life had the sensual cachet of she who I have cast myself after, Ms. Nin. I wish I could make this noodle bowl interesting, this vitamin water leap out of the page and into your own mouth. I wish I could write about how it’s all related for me, the sensuality and the sexuality. But you have to take my word for it. I’m a creature of feelings, not of rationality.

Sitting at work today, as I type away at the keyboard, engage in the pointless paper game of filing, I fantasize instead about being at home. I paint a picture for myself of the delicious treat of my birthday, someone to eat cake in bed with me, someone to touch me just so. These fantasies all resolve themselves into images of drawn out play, lingering seductions that start at waking, and gently tease me through the day. Like the slowest unwrapping of a gift, each word and glance and touch laden with promise, sending the tiniest sparks of pleasure through my skin and mind.

I find refuge from my own boredom at least.